Monday, 30 July 2012

Dear Dalia.


One day, she strood unannounced into my office, dropped a letter on my desk and demanded that I read it.

She said she wasn't asking for my opinion since she was going to send it anyway. 
I read, and since I wasn't allowed to air my views, I kept them to myself...

Dear Dalia,
I have chosen to write you for two reasons. First, I never want you to forget or mistake my exact words. I want to leave you with something to refer to when you have one of your fits. 
Secondly, I am never going to have this conversation with you, be it on the phone, face to face or by any other means  of communication. 
I love your ex-husband who now happens to be mine. I think he is noble and loyal and good-hearted and smart and hardworking. I think he is loving, kind, generous and as sexy as hell. I know he has his defects (who doesn't?), I know that at the moment, things are not as rosy as they were in the past and that he has seen better days. However, I strongly believe that with his dedication and some encouragement, even better days are ahead. Maybe, I'm mistaken, but I'm willing to take the chance.
I understand that after almost a lifetime with him, you got tired or bored and you wanted a change. You had enough of him, you got tired of waiting for things to change and playing the blame game, so you threw him out.
Obviously, you did what you felt was right, you felt that having him around was doing you more harm than good and you chose to put him out of your live, that also I understand. I am a woman after all, and I understand that these things can happen.

What I don't understand is how a supposedly intelligent, smart and well-gifted young woman like yourself has continued to trail after something you had rejected. Even dogs do not take back their vomits. I can't figure out why after all you'd put him through with the divorce and the custody of his son, you still have your absurd jealous fits at the mention of my name.

Did you think that he was never going to find someone to love him? Do you seriously believe that he can't love someone else after you? 
For over twenty years he loved you, deeply and profoundly. You both shared your lives and all that it involves, the good times and the bad times. You both were the perfect couple. 
You know, everytime he talks about you, which are not very often, he has mostly good things to say about you. But somehow, along the line, you both made mistakes and some bad choices. You blamed him, threw him out and filed for divorce. He has dealt with and accepted your decision, he has moved on. Through it all, he has never spoken bad of you even in the midst of all your troublesome and controversial divorce, the trials and not even during the custody battle when you tried to question his love for his son. That for me speaks load of  his integrity as a man and even more of your pettiness and small-mindedness.

And now, I'm in his life. I met him after you dumped him. Yes, I have no problem in admitting that you probably had him in his best years, you were part of his youthful, vibrant and carefree days. You both share a wonderful son and that's the only thing i envy you. I dont know if I'm ever going to get even a quarter of all that you got or all that you shared.  I met him when he was depressed, sad and heavy hearted. I met him when he was practically on the floor with the weight of your rejection and weighed down by the absence of his son. Gradually, we are building a solid relationship based on friendship, love, admiration and mutual respect. 

Get a life, get busy, put the past behind you no matter how difficult it might be for you. Afterall, it was your choice to change your life, so do it. You very obviously dont want him back, but neither do you want him to be happy. Leave him alone, leave us alone. Stop using your son as weapon to hang on to something you threw away. You still are a pretty and intelligent woman and I know that if you put your mind to it, you still can achieve  a lot for yourself.

You know you can't threaten me. You and I know that I'm not the kind of woman you want to mess with. I'm making the effort to remain civil, cordial and nice because I also love your little boy and I seriously think that you're not a bad person, only that you've got your priorities badly misplaced. I dont want to be firends with you, but I don't want your son to feel like he has to choose, between you and his father. I think in your best interest and that of your son, you should make the required efforts to at least have a civilized friendly relationship with your ex-husband.


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