Saturday, 24 August 2013

And I envied her.

Charlotte is a lawyer, and a single mother of 3 boys aged between 13 and 7. Today, during our session, a call came through on her phone and she looked at me apologetically and said she had to take the call. I said to go ahead.
As I heard her talking to her son, her eldest son of 13 years, I couldn´t help but wonder the kind of mother she is..

After her conversation, we got talking and she told me how the boy had exams that morning, but because he also had a blood test at the clinic, he arrived half an hour late. She told me that she had been very worried about him and if he was able to finish his exams. The call confirmed that he was given extra time.

The conversation went on to other things and we started talking about raising children to be independent, to be strong, to define their own limits.
I remebered a TEDtalk I saw some weeks ago titled "Five dangerous things you should let your kids do".
I also remembered how my Mum taught all seven of us the dangers of a fire flame; Seeing the flame of a candlelight and its infinite attraction to a kid of about 1 year or more, she would only tell you twice very gently not to put your hands to the flame, the third time you try, she´d either not say anything and watch you put your fingers and snap it back when you felt the heat or how she sometimes even helped put your fingers over the flame. That was a life lesson.

We spoke about so many different things and through it all, her love, commitment and admiration for her boys shone out.
She told me about how special her sons are, especially the eldest one.  With a special light in her eyes, she told me about the birthday present the boys prepared for her on her last birthday...
They had run her a warm bath with scented oils, candles, incense, they made dinner for her and as she sat down to dinner, they sat facing her, watching her with what she described as the most tender looks she had ever recieved. And then they sang her the happy birthday song, gave her hugs and told her how much they love her!

As I observed the transformation she underwent talking about her boys, I envied her. Not her job, not her marital or social status, I envied her the love and admiration of 3 potentially excellent men.