Tuesday, 27 March 2012

You are strong.

Strength isn't defined by the thing you can do,
but by overcoming the things you and most people believe you couldn't.
You are strong, because I know you can overcome and achieve everything you set your mind to.
Not only have you got my admiration and respect, you've also got my applause and ovation.
Nobody said its going to be easy, but you and I know that it's worth it.
It's been worth it right from the start and I believe in this team.
I´m part of your team, and I'm your cheerleader.

Monday, 26 March 2012

The call.

When I picked up my phone last night and saw her missed call, my first thought was, "what now?"
Abby was a great girl; fun loving, cheerful, hard working, but more stubborn than a mule. When she told me 2 years ago, that she was leaving her marriage of 2 years, with a little girl of a little more than a year, I couldn't think of anything to tell her.

Theirs had been a stormy relationship while they were still dating, but she always went back to him, and finally, they got married. Two months after the wedding, she called to say she was expecting, everybody was happy. It seemed to be a happy ending for them after all.

After the birth of their daughter, Rose, trouble reared its head again, and again, it was her fault, her husband said.
"She is too stubborn", he complained incessantly.
He continuously berated her for her willfulness, her unwillingness to listen to him.
Abby didn't help matters, as she went about her business paying no heed to him.
"He is too demanding and lazy", Abby whined.
What puzzled me was how they both conveniently didn't remember that they were both exactly the same way during the 3 years that their all famous courtship lasted.

When they came to me, each alone, I urged them to be patient with each other and accept each other as they both were, without trying to change each other. Obviously, they didn't heed my suggestions.
They even tried a little bit of counseling; Abby went once and didn't return.

Both of them were so dammed impatient, none wanted to cede and they both stood their grounds
and didn't want to give their marriage any chance.
Love had burned out! After their daughter's second birthday, she filed for divorce.
Two years has passed, and now, Abby is the happening girl in town. She has shed what little weight she gained with pregnancy and childbirth,and I have to admit that she looks absolutely gorgeous. I've seen her with Charles, and their little girl together, probably coming from school plays or going to church, and Charles looked so little next to her, and I don't mean in size.
She has obviously moved on and moved up in life. They are not in the same level, no not anymore.
She is reportedly seen in all the parties and she is steadily building up a reputation.

She was never shy, to begin with, but the speed with which she seems determined to climb the social ladder is rather alarming, and the easiness with which she seems to be achieving it seems even more so.

Abby didn't bat an eyelid when she non chalantly told me, that she was having the time of her life and that she isn't willing to pass on the opportunity to be happy.

Really, I couldn't say anything to that. All that was left to do was to wish her all the best, after all, I do want her to be happy.
So, be it leaving her husband, partying hard, not giving heed to my tentative advice or just breaking what was considered by the society as the norms of good behaviour, if it makes her happy... who am I to say otherwise?

S0, that evening she called to say that I shouldn´t believe all that I might hear about her or see in Facebook. I wasn´t sure why she was worried about that and I told her so. She didn´t answer. But she sounded quite tired and when I asked, she swore it was work related stress and the burden of taking care of  little Rose.

The question which I still don´t have an answer to is: Is she really happy?
It looks like it, but you never know.

That feeling again

Today, I had that feeling again. It was a mixture of stillness and euphoria.
A combination of trepidation and ecstasy,
My head sometimes seems to be playing tricks on me,
but I´m certain that there exists a reason for all that I´m getting myself involved in.
I haven't been able to shake off the huge cloud that seems to be hanging over my head.
But, after looking long enough, I've caught a glimpse of a silver lining.
The clouds are still there, but that must be the promise of rain.
It needs to rain and then the clouds will disappear.
I remember an ephemeral display of the unimaginable,
I see my sacred places become a playground for the gods.
Tomorrow appears to be perennial, but even that is an illusion.
The joke appears to be on me and today, I had that feeling again.

And Now I know.

I know now that when you commit yourself to something, following up on it might not be easy but it's the only thing to do.
I know now that if you've given your heart to something, holding on to it might not be reasonable, but keeping it and hence your heart will be the only thing you think of.
I know now that difficult decisions are not made easier for the strong-minded, but for the one who remembers to consider the cost of a paradise lost.
I know now that life is for the living, but giving is for the one whose heart is in his or her giving.
I know now that when your heartbeat threatens to stop due to overwhelming situations, the only option might be to reach in and turn the beatings to a song.
I know now that building and keeping castles in the air takes as much efforts as getting them on land.
I know now that when illusions are destroyed, and you're only faced with the reality of imperfections, contemplating the perfect becomes abominable.
I know now that when you entwine yourself into the intricacies of another, making excuses becomes a pastime.
I know now that when you're truly scared of losing something precious, making sacrifices
becomes unbearably easy.
Nobody said it was going to be easy,
I thought I knew, but now I know that I know nothing.
I only hope and pray that, you'll be worth it.