The gift of trust!

Just before I left home, three weeks after my 16th birthday, my Mum called me into a private meeting
with her and while looking me directly in the eyes, she told me she was allowing me go, only because she trusted me completely and firmly believed that I would hold on to all I had learned, never forgetting my identity and the values which she had so lovingly tried to instill in me. Then she held me tightly, and for a short while, I thought I heard her sobbing, but when I turned to face her, she had on the most gentle smile on her face.
Upon reflection, I learnt the power of trust, as well as the sense of responsibility it brings to the person being given the precious gift.  A gift that spelled freedom and at the same a tremendous responsibility to live up to that trust, and to prove yourself worthy!
Years later, I'm still learning the price of trusting another, and the risk involved. I am feeling the knot in my heart as I wholeheartedly offer the same gift to the people in my life.

That moment and that single generous act of faith was one experience that has continued to influence my decisions and my life. I have to add that years after that conversation, on the eve of my 23rd birthday and 6 months before she passed away, my mum held my hands and told me that she was proud of me. This time, I saw her tears, but they appeared to be tears of joy.

Over 20 years have passed since that night, but still whenever I find myself celebrating success or hurting from disappointment or challenging decisions, I still see her face, I still hear her voice, and it still feels awesome that she trusted me then!

A new year! A new resolution

As has become a norm, the beginning of every new year brings with it new resolves, decisions to do things differently, or better. To do more of some things or less of others.

As a woman, I find myself making new resolutions everyday. I find myself learning and changing, I find myself making every effort to be better than the person I was the previous day, I find myself questioning some things, and finding answers to other things.

This year, as every other year, I've chosen to be a better woman, lady, sister, mother, lover, wife, professional, service provider.
My resolution this year as every single day of the previous years is to do more, to give more, to help more, lo love more, to cheer more, to encourage more, to support more...
Again, I've chosen to be more graceful, more patient, more forgiving, kinder in words and deeds...

I have chosen to be more! And, I am more!

And for every woman in my life, you are more!

Life's small pleasures and gentlest joys.

“Don’t ever let yourself get so busy that you miss those little but important extras in life- the beauty of a day, the smile of a friend, the serenity of a quite moment alone. For it is often life’s smallest pleasures and gentlest joys that make the biggest and most lasting difference.”  Christopher De Vinck

You and Yourself!

" Have you ever had a door of opportunity slam in your face? A job application...that you did not get; a loan...that was turned down; a friendship or relationship...that ended; a proposal...where the answer was no.

When this happens in pursuit of your dream, don't focus on the closed door. Crawl through a window or tear a hole in the roof! Step back and do an assessment. What happened? What did you discover about yourself? What do you need to do? Who must you become to move forward in your life?

Whatever you do...don't give up simply because it becomes challenging. Don't expect life to make it easier for you to reach your goals. Make the decision to become a better person in order to accomplish your goals. 

Believe this - there will be other doors and more opportunities. Know that you will be stronger, wiser, more capable and better prepared to take advantage of them, because of what you have discovered about yourself, and how you have changed in the process. 

You have GREATNESS within you!!"

The Home front …………..Single or Married.

In life, there are different stages, there are
different seasons and as the scriptures says time for
different things, “…a time for every purpose under
heaven” (Ecc.3:1). There is a time to be single and a
time to be married.

It is essential that we first and foremost recognize
that as children of God, that the source of
our joy, fulfillment, wholeness and sense of
accomplishment in every stage of life, every season of
life (whether single or married) is the Holy Spirit
(Zech.4:6) and He is inside of us, inward and not
outward, which goes to say that our wholeness as a
person does not depend on any single outward and
physical factor. It is the Holy Spirit who equips us,
helping us through every stage of life and guiding us
to the one, enabling us to be the best that we can be,
always being vessels into honor in His hands in every
stage.

It is equally important that we bear in mind always
that we are firstly Christians, children of God, a
peculiar people, a royal priesthood…(2 Pet.2:9)a
people set aside for God. We are primarily God’s
people (Ps.100:3), then secondly a single person or a
married person. Our marital status is secondary to our
spiritual status. We should let the truth sink in that
at every stage of our lives, regardless of our marital
status, God wants 100% of us, He wants all of us, and
we should enjoy freely giving it all to Him.

Being single and by that I mean the stage when one is
unmarried is a great experience, a wonderful and very
exciting time in the life of an individual. It is a
time when you take decisions by yourself, (especially
if you’ve left home and parents) you decide what you
do and when , where you go and when , who your friends
are, who you spend time with and how much time you
spend with them and of course you decide when and what
you want to eat, when you want to cook and so on…,
but most importantly it is a time when as a child of
God, you have all the time and liberty to serve God to
the highest ( Cor.7:32-34). You have more than enough
time to study God’s word and to get to know Him more.
It is fundamental that you feel absolutely fulfilled
within yourself and with God, trusting Him, walking in
His favor and leading, and being available to him at
all times and for the next level where God would want
to lead you and be able to help others.

We have scriptural examples of great people who worked
out wonderfully well this season of singleness and
really got God’s best. We know the story of Ruth who
after she lost her husband at a young age, shunned the
idea of going back to her pagan people and remarrying,
and tenaciously stayed with her aged mother-in-law
Naomi because she desired strongly to remain among
God’s people and in God’s will (Ruth 1: 16-17) and she
sure got it and a wonderful husband.

Apostle Paul, by the leading of the Spirit followed God
without second thoughts, without reserve and he was
and still is one of the greatest apostle of all times.
He was unmarried (1 Cor.7:7) and his testimony is
that he fought a good fight, kept the faith …….and of
course there are several other examples in the bible.

As much as marriage is an equally great time in our
lives, it is a stage that brings with it extra cares,
added responsibility and the joy of coming together
with another individual to build a life together. It
doesn’t necessarily stop one from serving God like you
might have done as a single person, but it sure opens
a totally new and exciting way of serving God together
with your partner and this entails joint decision making.

In summary, we’ll share some truths that are
guaranteed to help you continue as a fulfilled and joyous
Christian single brother/sister.

¶ Accept that being single is a real and normal stage in life. 

It is a blessing and part of God’s divine purpose.

¶ Don’t waste the wait, make the most of your single
status.

¶ Busy yourself with studying God’s word.

The word of God has the ability to redirect your focus to what is truly important.

¶ Worship God all the time, making melodies in
your heart to God (Eph.5:19) There is something about
worship that is so releasing.

¶ Always wear a smile. A cheerful disposition, a merry
heart makes a whole lot of things a lot easier (prov.
15:13)

¶ Turn your thoughts towards others. Think of
different ways to be a blessing to someone else life
to make someone else’s life better.

¶ Practice talking section with God, the words of your
mouth, your confessions are part of the core of who
you are.

¶ Get busy in the house of God.

¶ Constantly fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

¶ Think on things that are true, noble, right, pure,
lovely, admirable and excellent (Phil. 4:8) Remember
the scriptures says that you are what you think.
(Prov. 23:7) and what you think in your heart is what
comes out of your mouth.

When you’re busy doing these, you can’t help but be
content while in the exciting season of life until it
pleases God to provide you with a partner and lead you
to the next season whenever and however He sees fit. 

Above all, remember that your marital status does not define who you are. Marriage does not guarantee happiness and satisfaction.  Marriage does not provide completeness. It is definitely not a land flowing with milk and honey. 

It has its own challenges and if you go into it for the wrong reasons, you will find that it might be the single most costly mistake that will mar your destiny.
God bless!!!.

Being Graceful.

Is “the graceful woman” lost in today’s “anything you can do, I can do better” world? Does it end with having a flourishing career? Has being graceful been reduced to just the outward appearance, being well made up? 

I find the study of women in society and how drastically they’ve changed over the years to be positively riveting. And I like to ask questions about it. “Why?” "How?" "Are we better for it?”

 Gracefulness conjures up a number of characteristics: poise, eloquence, refinement, beauty amongst other attributes.

I think of the Proverbs 31 woman as graceful. Not “fragile”, though gracefulness surely must contain “delicacy” in her demeanor, but also a strength and dignity that exudes from the carrier. I picture calmness, stateliness, a self-controlled form in movement and carriage. I imagine, since “the law of kindness is on her tongue” that her words come from a disciplined spirit (it’s a law that rules it!) and carry a certain weight of dignity and import because they are meaningful and not wasteful.

It is hard to find gracefulness these days. I’ve tried. And when I do see a woman who displays the rare manners that were once highly sought after and cultivated, she stands out.

I’m not talking about “putting on airs” nor pretending to be what you're not. But I do find it perfectly acceptable to constantly learn from others and I encourage every woman to “practice” gracefulness until it becomes habit.

The Bible speaks of letting our adornment be of the “inner man”…a meek and quiet spirit. And as we seek those characteristics that Christ Himself so perfectly demonstrated, our outward demeanor will meet it.

I want to be a woman whose inner character spills into her outer deportment. I want to be a woman who blesses the world around her, whose words bring help, peace, joy, laughter and healing. I want to be a woman whose ways inspire others. A woman of grace and true beauty, not the idolatry of beauty found on the magazine stand. I don't want to be harsh, brash and careless, not in my words and not in my ways.

What is “gracefulness” to you? Perhaps we have been so influenced by "civilization" and the masculine sirens of the feminist movement that we must revisit some basic etiquette. I’m thinking out loud…would love to hear your thoughts!

My purpose

By the time I become an old woman and wrinkled with age, I’ll still be given to meditation and prayer.
I would enjoy sitting in a rocker, listening to soft music, reading a good book, maybe even writing. Probably swallowing prescriptions,  and contemplating  the universe and all that sorround me with a great sense of fulfilment.
I would probably get under some people´s skin. I would be surrounded by lots of love and tenderness from family, grandchildren and friends.
But such activity might offer no challenge and make no contribution. Maybe, I would get bored and cranky occasionally.
So, today I wish to be up and doing. I wish to face each day with resolution and purpose. I wish to use every waking hour to give encouragement, to bless those whose burdens are heavy, to inspire, to motivate, to strenghten, to educate, to heal, to cheer and to build faith and strength of testimony.

This is my calling and my purpose!

What is yours?

Thankful for The Women in Our Lives

These are excerpts from an old man as he addressed his church after his wife´s burial..

"How thankful I am, how thankful we all must be, for the women in our lives.
My brethren and sisters, at the outset, if you will bear with me, I wish to exercise a personal privilege. Six months ago, at the close of our conference, I stated that my beloved companion of 67 years was seriously ill. She passed away two days later.  I wish to thank publicly the dedicated doctors and wonderful nurses who attended her during her final illness.

My children and I were at her bedside as she slipped peacefully into eternity. As I held her hand and saw mortal life drain from her fingers, I confess I was overcome. Before I married her, she had been the girl of my dreams, to use the words of a song then popular. She was my dear companion for more than two-thirds of a century, my equal before the Lord, really my superior. And now in my old age, she has again become the girl of my dreams.

I am grateful to be able to say that in our long life together I cannot remember a serious quarrel. Small differences occasionally, yes, but nothing of a serious nature. I believe our marriage has been as idyllic as anyone’s could possibly be.

I recognize that many of you are similarly blessed, and I compliment you most warmly, for when all is said and done there is no association richer than the companionship of husband and wife, and nothing more portentous for good or evil than the unending consequences of marriage.

I see those consequences constantly. I see both beauty and tragedy. And so I have chosen to say a few words today on the women in our lives.

I begin with the Creation of the world.


There came first the forming of heaven and earth, to be followed by the separation of the light from the darkness. The waters were removed from the land. Then came vegetation, followed by the animals. There followed the crowning creation of man. Genesis records that “God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good” (Gen. 1:31).

But the process was not complete.

“For Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

“And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman” (Gen. 2:20–23).

And so Eve became God’s final creation, the grand summation of all of the marvelous work that had gone before.

Notwithstanding this preeminence given the creation of woman, she has so frequently through the ages been relegated to a secondary position. She has been put down. She has been denigrated. She has been enslaved. She has been abused. And yet some few of the greatest characters of scripture have been women of integrity, accomplishment, and faith.

We have Esther, Naomi, and Ruth of the Old Testament. We have Sarah. We have Mary, the very mother of the Redeemer of the world. We have her as the chosen of God, described as “a virgin, most beautiful and fair above all other virgins” (1 Ne. 11:15).

She it was who nurtured Him in His boyhood and young manhood. She stood before Him when His pain-wracked body hung upon the cross on Calvary’s hill. 

Crossing through His life we have Mary and Martha, and Mary Magdalene. She it was who came to the tomb that first Easter morning. And to her, a woman, He first appeared as the resurrected Lord. Why is it that even though Jesus placed woman in a position of preeminence, so many men who profess His name fail to do so?

In His grand design, when God first created man, He created a duality of the sexes. The ennobling expression of that duality is found in marriage. One individual is complementary to the other. As Paul stated, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11).

There is no other arrangement that meets the divine purposes of the Almighty. Man and woman are His creations. Their duality is His design. Their complementary relationships and functions are fundamental to His purposes. One is incomplete without the other.
I recognize that we have many wonderful women among us who do not have the opportunity of marriage. And they, too, make such a tremendous contribution. They serve the Church faithfully and ably. They teach in the organizations. They stand as officers.

There are some men who, in a spirit of arrogance, think they are superior to women. They do not seem to realize that they would not exist but for the mother who gave them birth. When they assert their superiority they demean her. It has been said, “Man can not degrade woman without himself falling into degradation; he can not elevate her without at the same time elevating himself” (Alexander Walker, in Elbert Hubbard’s Scrap Book [1923], 204).

How very true that is. We see the bitter fruit of that degradation all about us. Divorce is one of its results. This evil runs rampant through our society. It is the outcome of disrespect for one’s marriage partner. It manifests itself in neglect, in criticism, in abuse, in abandonment. We in the Church are not immune from it.

Jesus declared, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt. 19:6).

The word man is used in the generic sense, but the fact is that it is predominantly men who bring about the conditions that lead to divorce.

After dealing with hundreds of divorce situations through the years, I am satisfied that the application of a single practice would do more than all else to solve this grievous problem.

If every husband and every wife would constantly do whatever might be possible to ensure the comfort and happiness of his or her companion, there would be very little, if any, divorce. Argument would never be heard. Accusations would never be leveled. Angry explosions would not occur. Rather, love and concern would replace abuse and meanness.

There was a popular song we sang many years ago, the lyrics of which said:

I want to be happy,
But I won’t be happy
Till I make you happy, too.
How true this is.

Every woman is a daughter of God. You cannot offend her without offending Him. I plead with the men of this Church to look for and nurture the divinity that lies within their companions. To the degree that happens, there will be harmony, peace, enrichment of family life, nurturing love.

Well did President McKay remind us that “no other success [in life] can compensate for failure in the home” (quoted from J. E. McCulloch, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924], 42; in Conference Report, Apr. 1935, 116).

Likewise, the truth of which President Lee reminded us: “The [greatest] work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home” (“Maintain Your Place as a Woman,” Ensign, Feb. 1972, 51).


It is a scene of great beauty when a young man and a young woman join hands at the altar in a covenant before God that they will honor and love one another. Then how dismal the picture when a few months later, or a few years later, there are offensive remarks, mean and cutting words, raised voices, bitter accusations.

The women in our lives are creatures endowed with particular qualities, divine qualities, which cause them to reach out in kindness and with love to those about them. We can encourage that outreach if we will give them opportunity to give expression to the talents and impulses that lie within them. In our old age my beloved companion said to me quietly one evening, “You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.”

I once knew a man who has since passed on but who insisted on making all of the decisions for his wife and children. They could not buy a pair of shoes without him. They could not take a piano lesson. They could not serve in the Church without his consent. I have since witnessed the outcome of that attitude, and that outcome is not good.

My father never hesitated to compliment my mother. We children knew that he loved her because of the way he treated her. He deferred to her. And I shall ever be profoundly grateful for his example. Many of you have been blessed likewise.

Now I might go on but it is not necessary. I wish only to give emphasis to the great, salient truth that we are all children of God, both sons and daughters, brothers and sisters.

As a father, do I love my daughters less than I love my sons? No. If I am guilty of any imbalance, it is in favor of my girls. I have said that when a man gets old he had better have daughters about him. They are so kind and good and thoughtful. I think I can say that my sons are able and wise. My daughters are clever and kind. And “my cup runneth over” (Ps. 23:5) because of this.

Women are such a necessary part of the plan of happiness which our Heavenly Father has outlined for us. That plan cannot operate without them.

Brethren, there is too much of unhappiness in the world. There is too much of misery and heartache and heartbreak. There are too many tears shed by grieving wives and daughters. There is too much negligence and abuse and unkindness.


How thankful I am, how thankful we all must be, for the women in our lives. God bless them. May His great love distill upon them and crown them with luster and beauty, grace and faith. And may His Spirit distill upon us as men and lead us ever to hold them in respect, in gratitude, giving encouragement, strength, nurture, and love, which is the very essence of the gospel of our Redeemer and Lord..."

She knows her worth.

A woman that knows her worth doesn't measure herself against another woman but stands strong, calmed and self confident.

The Strong Woman

"Sometimes the strongest women are the ones who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors, and fights battles that nobody knows about."